This is what i am now

Broken-hearted Girl

You’re everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could’ve been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that?

You’re the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I’d love to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you’re the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can’t erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to say
I know I’ll be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl…No...No
No broken-hearted girl
I’m no broken-hearted girl

Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out
You say you’ve got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you’re not deserving me
And still you’re in my heart
But you’re the only one and yes
There are times when I hate you
But I don’t complain
Cause I’ve been afraid that you would've walk away
Oh but now I don’t hate you
I’m happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No…No
No broken-hearted girl

Now I’m at a place I thought I’d never be…Oooo
I’m living in a world that’s all about you and me…yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away
Away With you
yeah yeah yeah, ohh ohh ohh

I don’t wanna be without my baby
I don’t wanna a broken heart
Don’t want to take a breath with out my baby
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way..No..No
I don’t want a broken heart
I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl..No..No..
No broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl No…no…
No broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl

Its not easy

2 am, 8 AUGUST 2009

Its unspoken.I dont even know where to begin.Its like the plane comes crashing and broke me into small pieces.But ever since then,it all makes sense now of how youve been acting so weirdly for the past few months.I never thought this would happen especially when i need you the most.Its been a year knowing that youre near me and now not anymore.How can i ever live without you near me?You are my oxygen and now youre taking it away from me.

I just went blanked when you told me that youre not going to be anywhere near me anymore.You said you will be there for me whenever I need you,what happens now?

Youre the reason I look up to every day.I wake up every morning with a smile on my face after having a good dream about you and me.I don’t see darkness on my side anymore.Im horizontally slunting to the bright side of me.

Everyday,I see you walking down the school hallway.You’re all I see at the front door of your class.When youre about to play for the school team,ill be there cheering for you hoping you’ll come back with a medal on your hand.Now,who do I cheer for?When I see you across in your classroom,sleeping like a baby during the lessons,I feel so calm until teacher comes and wake you up.Now,who do I look at?When youre caught up with a fight with others,I couldn’t sleep t he night worrying about how you’ve been on the other side?are you okay?did you actually got hurt?Now,whom should I worry about?When we go to the movies,all I want to do is be beside you and hold your arms when im frighten.Now,who do I hold?When you’ve got low grades on your exams,when youre down,im the one who always motivate you to look forward on the next step and never give up.Now,who do I give advice to?When youre having problems,im the one you tell the most.Now,who is going to tell me their problems?ITS JUST NOT ME ANYMORE!NOT MEE!!!!

I still remember the days we had together,ups and downs.I still remember when we were at carls jr,you put your hands around me.You were so close to me as if there isn’t even a little gap between us.You followed me when I need to refill the drinks you grabbed the cup away from my hand.I feel safe whenever im around you like I don’t have to worry about life outside.When im with you,all I can do is smile and watch.

Now that youre away,I feel like my life ends with a fullstop.Theres no continuation anymore.All I can say for now is all the best there and hope youre happy with your new life.Ill live mine too here.Im beginning a new life in my new school too.Hopefully,with this two seperatw ways,I can go on my everyday life though without you.I’ll have to say,no matter whom im with,no matter if I found a new guy,my heart will always say that ITS YOU.I promise that.I really hope that this distance will still make us close no matter what happens.I REALLY DO DEEPLY LOVE YOU.

(sorry if this post is slightly dramatic but im in pain so im just letting out on what I feel)

ALWAYS LOVE YOU,

ASHA